Loki's Human Nature
by Ennuit
Summary: "He wakes up screaming a name. The name of a person he doesn't know." While hiding out at Thor's apartment, Loki ends up showing Thor his human side. Rated M for future chapters. Thor/Loki.
1. Chapter 1

Why Thor's apartment? Why is that the only place Loki can think to go?

He only has a second to decide. A second before the seal will close again and he'll be trapped forever. He ignores the pain, the tendrils of well-crafted magic invading his mind. He focuses on that one place, that one person.

Thor's apartment.

Thor is standing in the kitchen when Loki appears next to him in a flash of golden light, battered and bloody. Loki barely registers the look of shock on Thor's face before his strength gives out and he collapses to the floor. Thor is leaning over him now, reaching for the small smoldering book that Loki clutches in his hand. Loki regains his focus long enough to yell a warning to stay back.

Thor freezes and backs away. He's saying something, but Loki can't hear right now. The pain is too great. With his free hand, Loki grabs the forearm that holds the book. Light blossoms on the skin beneath his fingers forming a glowing ring that encircles his arm. Loki takes several heaving breaths. The pain subsides somewhat, and the aggressive magic seems to be held at bay for now.

Loki grimaces as he looks at Thor. He tries to explain what is going on, why he needs to immediately seal away his memories and magic, but it's clear Thor doesn't understand. So he puts it as plainly as he can. He tells Thor he'll be found and killed if he doesn't hide. He asks Thor to protect him. It takes all his willpower to speak the two words that he knows will save him.

"Please, brother."

And Thor agrees. Just as Loki knew he would.

The barrier is weakening. Loki knows he doesn't have much time. He manages with great effort to remove one of his daggers from his coat. He grips it in a trembling hand, already beginning the enchantment as he rushes to explain to Thor.

"This dagger will be me. I'm sealing all my magic, all my memories, within it. Keep it safe. Keep it hidden from me. I'll make myself believe I'm mortal and give myself false memories. When it's safe, give the dagger back to me and I will be myself again."

Thor's eyes are fixed on the glowing ring around Loki's arm as it begins to flicker out of existence. Thor quickly asks how he will know when it's safe.

"You'll know."

That's all Loki manages to say before the barrier fades completely. He screams in pain tossing the dagger away just as the book he holds bursts into eerie blue flames. His screaming continues until the flames fade, leaving nothing but ashes in Loki's hand. Then he slowly closes his eyes and slips into unconsciousness.

* * *

><p>Finally deeming it safe to touch Loki, Thor quickly searches for injuries and is relieved to find none. The blood splattered over Loki's clothes must not be his own. It's been over a year since he's last seen Loki, and now he appears to him like this? Pain and anger mingle in Thor's heart as he gazes down at Loki's unconscious body. He vaguely wonders what horrible deed Loki must have been doing to put his life in danger so. He shakes his head sadly. Then again, maybe he'd rather not know. But he promised to help him, so of course he will. He never really had a choice. Wearily, he gathers Loki into his arms and carries him to the bedroom, laying him on the bed.<p>

Thor goes back to the kitchen and finds the dagger that Loki thew away. He expects some indication of its recent enchantment, but it simply lies heavy and cold in his hand. For a painful instant, Thor wonders whether Loki actually completed the spell in time, but then he feels a tremor within the weapon, ever so slight. It's not much, but it's enough to make Thor sigh with relief. He carefully wraps the dagger in a pillow case and hides it in the back of the hall closet.

Then he waits, sitting outside of the bedroom like a sentry, for Loki to wake up.

* * *

><p>Thor wakes with a jolt to Loki's scream, banging his head on the wall in the process. He rushes into the bedroom to see Loki standing, looking down at himself in shock. Thor realizes too late that he probably should have had the foresight to wash the blood off Loki and get him into some clean clothes.<p>

"What the hell happened to me?! Where did all this blood come from?!"

Thor doesn't trust himself to speak. He's still a bit unclear as to exactly what Loki has done. Loki said he'd believe himself to be a mortal now. How exactly is Thor supposed to act towards him?

Loki looks up at him in distress, "Did I have an accident or something?"

"Yes," Thor says cautiously, deciding to say the first plausible thing that comes to mind, "You were hit by a car."

"And you didn't take me to a hospital?! Well, thank god it doesn't seem serious..."

Thor furrows his brow in frustration. This may be more difficult than he had anticipated.

Loki walks casually over to Thor's dresser and takes out a pair of jeans and a T-shirt, apparently under the impression that this is his own room and these are his own clothes. "Anyway," Loki says walking past Thor and into the living room, "I'm going to take a shower."

Loki pauses awkwardly as he reaches the middle of the room, unsure of which direction the bathroom actually is. Thor motions towards the correct door, "Over there."

Loki nods appreciatively and heads towards the door.

"Hey," Thor says, stopping Loki in his tracks, "Um, what's your name?"

Loki turns towards Thor and laughs, "I don't think I hit my head that hard in the accident!"

Thor looks at Loki, his eyes full of worry.

Loki strides over to Thor and places a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "Relax, I'm okay! Loren Olson lives to fight another day!" Loki smiles brightly before turning and disappearing into the bathroom, closing the door behind him.

Thor sinks onto the sofa holding his head in his hands. What in the world has his brother done to himself? Loki said something about false memories. But this? Was this really what he intended? Thor sighs heavily. The only thing he can do now is try and sort out what in the world Loki thinks is going on.

A few minutes later, Loki emerges from the bathroom, grumbling to himself about how he must have lost weight as he tugs at Thor's oversized clothes. Thor calls him over to sit on the sofa and Loki plops down next to Thor, leaning casually against the back of the sofa and resting his head on his arm, without a care in the world. After his shower, Loki somehow looks younger. His pale skin is flushed, his wet hair combed back and dripping water down his neck. Thor's oversized clothes give the illusion that Loki's body is smaller than it is.

Thor can't help but stare at Loki for a few moments. It feels surreal to sit with his brother like this. It's not just the somehow endearing fact that Loki is wearing his clothes, which he hasn't done since they were boys. But what Thor finds most striking is Loki's eyes. Clear and wide and perfectly innocent, gazing contently at Thor. Oh, how Thor has missed seeing those eyes.

Thor clears his throat, looking away and trying to focus on the matter at hand. "So," Thor begins, unsure if this will actually work, "Why are you here?"

Loki gives him a withering look, "Why am I in my apartment with my roommate?"

"No, um," Thor tries to think of a way to clarify the question without sounding too obviously ignorant, even though it's apparent that Loki will hardly notice anyway. "What are you doing in New York City?"

Loki rolls his eyes in displeasure, "I thought we already went over this. I'm going to write a book, become a published author, and be famous. Are you already trying to convince me to get a real job?"

Thor relaxes a bit. At least it will be easy to get Loki to talk.

* * *

><p>Over the next few hours, Thor awkwardly attempts to pry information out of Loki without being too conspicuous, and Loki answers Thor's questions with a surprising lack of concern for the utter strangeness of the whole situation. Eventually, Thor is able to work out that Loki thinks that Thor's name is Jake and that they are friends who just graduated from some kind of school for writers and moved to New York City together, planning to live off their parents money until they are forced to find actual jobs. The level of detail in the false memories is impressive considering Loki must have somehow constructed them moments before passing out.<p>

"Are we done here?" Loki finally asks when he tires of the inquisition, "I've got some reading I want to do."

Thor nods. His brain was starting to hurt anyway. Loki jumps up to inspect the bookshelf across the room. The books were a gift from Tony Stark, supposedly all the necessary reading to understand modern Midgardian culture, plus some of his personal favorites. Loki chooses _How to Win Friends and Influence People_ from the bookshelf and returns to the sofa, enthusiastically stretching out across from Thor and draping his legs along the sofa so his feet land unceremoniously in Thor's lap. Thor shoves the invading feet off of him, and Loki lets out a small laugh as he opens the book.

Thor gazes at Loki, a bit stunned. Other than the excessive cheerfulness and strangely indifferent attitude, Loki is acting exactly how Thor remembers him growing up. It's eerie and somewhat disconcerting, considering their stormy relationship since then. Honestly, Thor can't tell whether he's happy about seeing Loki this way or not.

How long will Loki have to stay like this? At least, as it turns out, Thor has just told the Avengers that he's going to visit Asgard, so he can easily put off the trip and stay here without being bothered by anyone. It should be simple enough to live here quietly for a week or so. Surely, Loki wouldn't need to hide longer than that.

Then he remembers Loki's dagger hidden in the closet. It strikes him that Loki has just placed his life in his hands, quite literally. Even after all this time, after everything that's come between them, Loki trusts Thor with his life. The thought makes Thor's heart swell and almost brings him to tears.

* * *

><p>Thor finds living with Loki easier now that he has some idea of the role Loki expects him to play. Thor gets into the habit of refraining from calling Loki by name, they buy Loki some new clothes that fit him, and Thor gets used to sleeping on the sofa, since Loki has claimed the bedroom as his own. It takes a few days, but Thor is finally starting feel comfortable around this new Loki.<p>

True to his imagined persona, Loki spends most of his time writing. Thor is shocked to see Loki fill three whole notebooks in almost three days.

"What are you writing?" Thor finally asks.

"Oh, random stuff," Loki says, sitting cross-legged on the sofa with a notebook in his lap, "but I was thinking of writing a story about two brothers... they're polar-opposites, but they're really close... and something comes between them, but... ah, man, that sounds so cheesy."

Thor smiles, "I like it. Just make sure to give it a happy ending."

"Pfft, happy endings are for losers! Real writers aren't afraid to start an epic battle where everyone dies in the end."

"And then they are reborn and start over?" Thor suggests with a grin, ruffling Loki's hair affectionately.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Loki says, batting away Thor's hand and smoothing out his hair again.

"Nothing," Thor chuckles as he walks over and sits in the chair across from the sofa.

Thor watches Loki as he writes, vaguely admiring the beauty of the sight of Loki in quiet contemplation. A stray lock of hair falls into Loki's face, and Loki reaches up with his delicate fingers to tuck it behind his ear. Loki's hand ends up resting gently on his pale neck as he leans over the notebook. Thor contemplates that soft hair, that beautiful neck, those delicate-

"What?" Loki says, looking up in annoyance.

"Uh, nothing," Thor mumbles as he snaps back to reality.

"You're staring," Loki says, narrowing his eyes at Thor.

"Sorry," Thor mutters quickly as he gets up and heads for the front door, "I'll go for a walk."

Outside the door, Thor pauses and takes a deep breath. How did his thoughts wander off like that? How strange to think of Loki that way, almost as if he were a different person. Thor shakes his head, determined to put it out of his mind.

* * *

><p>Loki wakes up screaming a name. The name of a person he doesn't know.<p>

"Thor!"

He jolts upright in bed, his panicked heart racing as the remnants of the nightmare fade. The bedroom door bursts open, and Thor appears in the dim light, rushing over to Loki.

"Are you well?" Thor asks, concern etched on his face, "You were screaming."

Loki is still trembling slightly, and he clasps his hands together to stop them from shaking. "It was just a nightmare," Loki says softly, looking down as he remembers the dream, "It just... felt so real. I remember falling into a void, then I ended up in this awful place. It was so dark and cold. All I felt was pain for days and days and days. I was calling out for someone to save me... I kept calling out... but he never came..."

Loki is suddenly aware of the tears streaming down his face. As he quickly tries to wipe them away, he finds himself being enclosed in warm arms. Loki's eyes go wide in surprise. Thor's holding him so tightly and so close. It feels so comforting and strangely familiar.

"I'm so sorry," Thor whispers.

Loki blushes slightly as he gently pushes Thor away. "I'm okay. It was just a dream," Loki reassures him, but Thor continues to look at him with worry.

Thor raises his hand to gently cup the back of Loki's neck. Loki's pulse races at the intimacy of the touch. Somehow, it feels like he's been longing for that touch forever. For a long moment, he's held captive by Thor's stormy blue eyes gazing tenderly into his.

Thor looks like he wants to say something. It's clear that he's struggling with himself. But in the end, he looks away from Loki, dropping his hand and returning to the doorway. Loki's heart suddenly sinks.

"Goodnight," Thor says simply as he closes the door behind him.

Loki lets out a breath that he didn't realize he was holding. What the hell was all that about? He had thought for sure Thor was going to kiss him. Unconsciously, his hand moves to the place on his neck where Thor touched him. He collapses back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling wide-eyed. He's overcome with a wave of unexpected disappointment. In vain, he tries to push Thor out of his thoughts as he closes his eyes and drifts back to sleep.

* * *

><p>Loki is on edge all the next day, his mind constantly coming back to the events of the previous night. He can't look at Thor without replaying the moments of Thor embracing him and Thor holding his neck as he looked into his eyes. For his part, Thor asks how Loki slept and seems genuinely concerned about his nightmare, but also hesitant to question Loki further about it. Other than that, Thor seems to think nothing of the rest of the incident which ends up annoying Loki to no end.<p>

So in the evening, Loki suggests to Thor that they watch a movie on TV together. Loki knows full well it's a thinly veiled excuse to set up the same opportunity again. Loki even finds it hard to concentrate on the movie with Thor sitting so close. When the movie ends, Thor turns off the TV, mumbling something about how he didn't understand anything that happened.

In that moment, Loki dares to reach out and clasp Thor's hand resting on the sofa between them. Leaning slightly forward, Loki waits a moment, hoping that Thor will take the hint. But Thor simply looks blankly at Loki, as if expecting him to say something. So Loki gathers his courage and leans in, taking hold of Thor's head and kissing him. He eagerly presses into Thor's warm mouth, letting Thor feel his desire. He leaves no room for ambiguity. He pulls away slowly, hesitantly searching Thor's face for a reaction.

Thor sits for several moments, thunderstruck, gazing at Loki as if he can't believe what just happened. When he finally recovers his wits, he turns away and awkwardly clears his throat. "I'll get us some more tea." With less delicacy than they require, he quickly grabs their mugs from the table and scurries off towards the kitchen.

Loki frowns. Needless to say, this isn't the reaction he was hoping for. True, it could have been worse. Thor didn't push him away or yell at him. Maybe Thor was just embarrassed? Maybe he's never considered kissing a guy before? But the more Loki thinks about it, the more confused he becomes. It's very clear Thor likes him. More than likes him. He's far too affectionate for any normal friend. Has Loki misread the situation?

Loki looks in vain towards the kitchen in search of Thor. When it becomes clear that Thor isn't returning any time soon, Loki kicks the coffee table indigently before storming off to the bedroom, making sure to slam the door shut behind him.

* * *

><p>Thor waits until he thinks Loki is asleep to open the hall closet. He finds Loki's dagger exactly where he left it, carefully wrapped in a pillow case and hidden in the back. Unwrapping it slowly, he feels the weight of the weapon in his hands. He sinks to the floor and sits against the wall, gripping the dagger tightly.<p>

"Loki," he whispers imploringly, his voice trembling with the storm in his heart, "Who is this person you've left with me? Is this really you? Is this really what you desire?"

Desperately, he presses the dagger's handle to his forehead, willing it to answer. But all he feels is a distant tremor, the quiet promise of a beating heart somewhere in the cold metal.

* * *

><p><em>AN: This is bit of an experiment for me writing-wise, but who's to argue with inspiration at 4am? Only very vaguely inspired by the plot device in the Doctor Who episode "Human Nature."_


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N: Smut ahead. You have been warned._

* * *

><p>That night, the thunderstorms roll in.<p>

Surrounded by the incessant clamor of raindrops and distant thunder, Thor lies awake on the sofa. He spends the whole night trying to convince himself that this is just a big misunderstanding. That Loki has simply interpreted Thor's brotherly affection as something else entirely. That Thor has just been careless by falling into the old patterns of interaction that he had enjoyed with Loki in their youth.

But harder to explain away are Thor's own feelings towards Loki, which have quickly spiraled out of control since the kiss. He finds his mind so muddled that he can hardly sort out the tangle of conflicting thoughts. He has always loved Loki as a brother, nothing more. So why in the world, now that the initial shock has worn off, is the first thing he feels immense relief? As if a huge weight has been lifted from his shoulders? As if he's been waiting centuries for the exquisite clarity that kiss? An irrefutable physical expression of love from Loki? Is that not what he has sought for so long? To know once and for all that Loki loves him?

But to love him in _this_ way? Not as a brother, but as a lover? It would be so simple if Thor could just tell himself the kiss felt wrong. But if he must be honest, then he has to say that it felt perfectly natural. Obvious even. So obvious that he seriously doubts that Loki has misunderstood anything at all. Perhaps Loki is, in reality, seeing everything much clearer now. Suddenly, it feels as if parts of Thor's heart that have long been cased in shadow have come to light.

His chest tightens as he glances at the door to the bedroom where Loki is sleeping. He finds himself wanting to go inside and be near Loki, to hold him in his arms, to feel the warmth of his body... Thor closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. By the gods, how could he have been so blind to these feelings?

Well, what to do now? Thor has all night to try to figure it out, yet his mind keeps running in circles. Thor desperately doesn't want to hurt Loki. But without knowing how Loki truly feels, any action seems impossible. So instead, he tries to put it out of his mind and sleep, yet his fretful thoughts refuse to cease, keeping him awake throughout the stormy night.

* * *

><p>By the time morning comes, Thor still can't decide what to say to Loki. He considers trying to avoid him instead, but somehow can't bring himself to do something so childish. So he sluggishly gets up and makes breakfast for himself, vaguely hoping that Loki will forget the whole thing ever happened or at least act like he has.<p>

But Loki being Loki, he would never let Thor get out of such an awkward situation so easily. When Loki emerges from the bedroom, he walks straight over to Thor where he sits at the table eating. Thor, ever optimistic, doesn't acknowledge him, still hoping that he will continue on to the kitchen without trying to talk to him.

"So," Loki says carefully, "About what happened last night..."

Thor remains silent, staring at his food, not daring to look at Loki.

"I just..." Loki starts with some effort, "Um... wasn't sure if you liked it or not..."

Thor closes his eyes. It's painful to hear such an unabashed plea for approval from Loki. Surely, if Loki had his real memories, he would never be caught dead uttering a statement like that.

Thor desperately wants to explain everything to him, to make Loki understand his hesitation. He wants to tell him about the false memories, their history as brothers... everything. But what would happen if he did? Most likely, Loki simply wouldn't believe him. Worse yet, what if that would somehow break the spell? What if it would put Loki in danger?

Loki clenches his fists in frustration. "Look, if you didn't like it, that's fine. Just fucking tell me and quit the mixed signals crap!"

Thor still can't say anything. He just can't. So he surprises even himself when, as Loki starts to turn away in irritation, he jumps up to grab Loki's arm and keep him from leaving.

Loki glares back at him with venom in his eyes. "What?" he hisses.

Thor grimaces at how painfully self-conscious he feels touching Loki right now, as if even this innocent gesture is now tainted.

This whole thing is getting way out of hand. Thor fears what will happen if he lets things continue as they are. He must deny his feelings, for his sake as much as for Loki's. "I... didn't..." the words stick in Thor's throat as he glances around uselessly, looking anywhere but at Loki. "I didn't like it," he finally manages to say, reluctantly forcing himself to look Loki in the eye.

"God, this is embarrassing," Loki mutters, looking disgusted, "Why do you even bother trying to lie?"

Thor shoots him a miserable look that's half desperation and half annoyance. Of course Loki would mock him at a time like this. How had he expected anything different?

Loki pauses for a moment, his gaze piercing as he practically challenges Thor to change his story. But Thor's anger is already bubbling up from Loki's comment, and he refuses to say anything else.

"Fine," Loki says at last, his voice cold and tense. He's still scowling as he tears his arm away from Thor, "Let me know when you grow some balls."

* * *

><p>Loki hides away in his room for the rest of the morning, and Thor is glad to avoid further confrontation for a while. He's physically and emotionally exhausted and collapses on the sofa trying, mostly unsuccessfully, to catch up on his lost sleep.<p>

It's almost afternoon by the time Loki emerges from the bedroom, walking over to sit calmly in the armchair next to him. He casually tosses his notebook on the coffee table and gives Thor a pleasant smile, "I'm going to get some groceries. Do you want anything?"

Thor sits up quickly, his brow furrowing in confusion at Loki's complete reversal in mood, "You're not mad anymore?"

"Of course not," Loki says, standing and stretching, "Why would I be?" The corners of his mouth slowly curve into a playful smirk.

Thor starts to panic. Dear gods, no. He knows that smirk. Nothing good comes from that smirk.

Loki turns and sweeps away out the front door, humming happily to himself.

Thor is left alone and speechless, terrified to think of what Loki is up to now. His eyes are suddenly drawn to the notebook that Loki has conspicuously left right in front of him. It looks brand new, never been used. With a distinct sense of dread, he picks up the notebook and opens it, his eyes glancing over the handwritten words on the page.

_My breath is warm and moist on your skin as I press my lips to your neck-_

Thor's breath hitches. Wait... is this what Loki wants to do to him? With morbid curiosity, he continues reading the remarkably detailed account of a steamy make-out session up to the part where Loki describes unzipping Thor's pants before he quickly slams the notebook shut and throws it out of sight. Growling in frustration, he curses the fact that he's already hard, his erection straining against the front of his jeans. Why does Loki have to torture him like this? He was trying to put a stop to this for Loki's own good!

With an angry grunt, Thor pounds his fist on the coffee table and springs to his feet. He paces the apartment anxiously for several minutes trying in vain to get the images of what he just read out of his head. But his lust-addled imagination simply takes over, and suddenly he's tempted to pick up the notebook again and just keep reading. Ignoring the urge, he shakes his head vehemently and finally sinks, defeated, into one of the dining room chairs, holding his head in his hands as he leans over the table.

He hears the front door open and watches Loki stroll into the kitchen carrying two bags of groceries. Loki does an excellent job of pretending that Thor doesn't exist as he moves about the kitchen, putting away the food he bought and then starting to prepare a sandwich for himself. Thor can't help letting his eyes rake over Loki's body, catching every movement of it beneath his clothes. Thor starts to feel like a voyeur, like he shouldn't be here watching Loki like this, but he can't help quietly drinking it all in. The way Loki's hips tilt as he stands at the counter, the way he runs his fingers through his hair before opening the refrigerator, the way he turns slightly towards Thor as he licks the excess mustard off his fingers.

Thor feels reason slipping away with every torturous movement Loki makes. His nerves are already frayed from lack of sleep, and the lingering pulse of arousal still courses through his veins. Words aren't going to fix this now, all that's left is action.

Loki's about to cut the finished sandwich when Thor gives a quiet command, "Wait."

Loki pauses, his eyes flashing up to glance at Thor before slowly putting down the knife. Thor strides over to him with heavy steps. Loki turns around to face Thor, spreading his arms behind him and leaning back against the counter.

And Loki is smiling. Damn him. But it's not the smug smile of satisfaction that Thor expects. It's a genuine smile. Bright and innocent. Thor's heart skips a beat. He'd forgotten the pleasure of seeing Loki happy.

It would be so easy for Thor to fall apart then, to break upon Loki like a wave crashing to shore. He feels as if all he's ever wanted is standing right in front of him, ready for the taking. But Thor's last sliver of reason forces him to resist a moment longer. Instead, he reaches out to touch Loki's cheek, his fingertips ghosting feather-light across his skin. It's almost as if he's afraid Loki will shatter beneath his fingers if he touches him with the burning intentions that now possess him. He makes a final plea, his voice low and quiet, "Promise me you won't regret this."

Loki is breathless as he replies, "Yes."

Thor's hand moves to the nape of Loki's neck. His voice trembles with conflicting emotions as he whispers, "You don't know what you're saying-" Thor only adds the word "brother" in his mind.

Loki stands perfectly still as his playful smirk returns. "Yes, I do," he purrs quietly, "I'm saying that if you don't just fucking kiss me already I'm going to tear this place apart and burn it to the ground." Thor knows from the glint in Loki's eye that the threat is probably more real than even Loki himself realizes.

Thor takes a shuddering breath. The few moments that he hesitates feel like an eternity teetering on the edge of this point of no return. Surely these are Loki's true feelings. Surely Loki's spell wouldn't force him to do anything against his nature. He clings desperately to that hope, because he can't resist any longer.

Slowly, tentatively, Thor leans forward to press his lips gently against Loki's. Loki's body remains stiff and still, barely reacting to the kiss. All Thor can feel are Loki's lips parting, ever so slightly, his warm breath escaping in quick, almost desperate, puffs along Thor's cheek.

Frowning slightly, Thor pulls away after a moment, unsure of how to interpret Loki's stiff refusal to reciprocate the kiss.

Loki looks sternly at Thor, "You call that a kiss? I'm fairly certain you can do better than that."

"You should learn to still your tongue," Thor growls gently.

Loki cannot hold back the wild grin that spreads across his face as Thor swoops forward again claiming his mouth fiercely, completely devoid of timidity this time. Loki's body relaxes as Loki leans into the kiss and his hands slowly rise to touch Thor's shoulders. Thor's fingers tighten on Loki's neck as he steps closer, closing the distance between them. Feeling Loki's body pressed against his, breathing in his scent, Thor's lust takes over.

He forcefully presses into Loki's mouth, tightly gripping one of Loki's thin wrists and roughly pinning it with a swift motion to the cabinet above his head. Thor hears a pained sound from Loki and pauses as he realizes that Loki is trembling. Thor immediately releases his grip and pulls away slightly to look into Loki's uncertain eyes. Thor had forgotten that Loki thought himself mortal. Had it been too much for him? Thor tries to rein in his raging desire as he gently runs a reassuring hand over Loki's head. "I'm sorry," he says softly before placing a gentle kiss on Loki's lips. Loki makes a pleased sound and wraps his arms around Thor's neck encouragingly.

Careful not to use his full strength, Thor wraps his arm around Loki's waist drawing him close to deepen the kiss as he runs his other hand through his dark locks. When Loki gathers the courage to flick his tongue out to taste the edge of Thor's lips, Thor returns the favor tenfold, slipping his tongue along Loki's and delving into the warm heat of Loki's mouth. Loki moans needily against Thor's lips, his breath coming in quick spurts as he tightly grips Thor's shoulders.

Thor growls softly as he turns his head to attack Loki's pale neck with his lips, and Loki closes his eyes, moaning openly. Completely lost in lust, Loki clings to the back of Thor's shirt as he starts to grind his hips against Thor. Smiling slightly, Thor raises his head to softly whisper in Loki's ear, "Eager, aren't you?"

Loki presses his burning face into Thor's shoulder and grumbles something vaguely resembling "shut up." Thor chuckles and gently licks along the shell of Loki's ear, earning a small whine from Loki.

Thor's hand drops between them to feel the front of Loki's jeans, and Loki presses shamelessly against his hand through the thick material. "Please," Loki breathes, gripping the back of Thor's shirt even harder. Thor takes mercy on him, gently kissing Loki's neck again as he unzips Loki's jeans and slips his hand inside.

Loki tries to smother a cry in Thor's shoulder as Thor takes hold of his painfully hard member. Loki trembles and pants desperately. It only takes two strokes from Thor's hand before he comes, surprising both himself and Thor.

He looks up at Thor, blushing madly, "Shit... Oh, shit, I'm sorry." He quickly reaches over to grab some paper towels and wipe off Thor's hand. "I don't know why... it feels like I've been waiting forever for this."

Thor can't help laughing at him. Never in a million years did he imagine he would see someone as proud as Loki in such a state.

"Don't laugh," Loki mutters, trying to hide his face in Thor's shoulder again, "It's embarrassing."

Thor balls up the paper towels and tosses them away, then he takes hold of Loki's chin and gently forces him to raise his head and look at him again. "It's okay," Thor says softly, "I'll give you another one."

Without warning, Thor picks up Loki, hoisting him up by his thighs, and Loki is forced to cling to his shoulders in earnest again to keep from falling. "Put me down, you stupid oaf!" Loki shouts as Thor carries him into the living room.

Thor is smiling like a madman as he sits down with a heavy thud upon the sofa still holding Loki astride him in his lap. Loki suddenly looks almost shy as Thor gazes at him affectionately and tucks a stray lock of Loki's hair away behind his ear.

Loki's hands fumble with the hem of Thor's T-shirt, and Thor leans forward slightly to help Loki remove it. Once Thor's chest is bare, Loki trails his fingers over the sculpted muscles reverently, his eyes wide in wonder.

"You act as if you've never seen my chest before," Thor teases.

"I haven't," Loki states, his brow furrowing in annoyance, "Should I be worried that you can't seem to keep track of that?"

Thor freezes for a moment. Damn it, he'd let his guard down. Recovering quickly, he gives a small smile and shakes his head, then manages to distract Loki again by kissing his neck as he unbuttons his shirt and slips it off his shoulders.

"You're so beautiful," Thor whispers as he leans back to let his eyes wander over Loki's flawless ivory skin.

Loki gives a sour look as his eyes flash to Thor's chest, clearly comparing their physiques.

"Do you doubt my words?" Thor says quietly.

Loki looks into Thor's eyes, but says nothing.

"Then let me show you."

Thor runs his hands over every inch of Loki's chest, tracing the gentle curves of his muscles with his fingertips. Loki closes his eyes to enjoy the sensation, letting out a gasp when Thor's lips and tongue join the exploration. Loki is hard again by the time Thor is done, and when Thor's hands move to touch his cock again, Loki's eyes flash open as he moves to stop him.

"Wait. I want to feel you too," Loki says breathlessly.

Loki's fingers fall to the large bulge in Thor's jeans, but then he seems to have second thoughts, looking almost fearful. When Loki continues to hesitate, Thor undoes his jeans himself and gently guides Loki's hand inside to feel Thor's hard member through his underwear. Thor's head rolls back as he moans at the touch, and Loki seems to find his courage again, slipping his hand under the band of Thor's underwear to feel the heated flesh underneath.

Thor looks up to drink in Loki's face as they fervently stroke each other. Loki's eyes are closed, his pale cheeks flushed as he thrusts with abandon into Thor's hand. Loki's so lost in pleasure that he's barely able to keep up a steady rhythm stroking Thor's cock, but Thor doesn't mind. The simple knowledge that this is _Loki_ who's touching him, _Loki_ who's moving above him so breathless and wanton and drunk on lust... This knowledge alone drives Thor's passion almost to the breaking point.

Loki's movements grow even more frantic, and he pants wildly as he approaches his climax. Thor reaches up with his free hand to pull Loki into a searing kiss, swallowing the cry that Loki unleashes as he comes, trembling in Thor's hands. In that moment, Loki's grip tightens on Thor's cock, and Thor tenses and finds his release as well, painting Loki's thin fingers with his seed.

Loki pulls away from the kiss to gulp down huge mouthfuls of air before finally opening his eyes to look at Thor. Thor's eyes are shining, overflowing with happiness as he lovingly caresses Loki's cheek. Loki suddenly seems shy again, and glances around to look for tissues or something to wipe off their hands. Thor grabs his abandoned T-shirt and starts using that to clean up, ignoring Loki's cry of protest.

Exhaustion hits Thor suddenly and his head rolls back as his eyes flutter shut. Loki starts to get up from his lap, but Thor gives a displeased grunt and quickly traps Loki in his arms.

"No, stay," he whispers hoarsely. It comes out like a desperate plea.

Loki is surprised by the urgency in Thor's voice, but finally gives in and relaxes into Thor's arms. Still holding Loki tightly, Thor tips them over sideways to lie down on the sofa together. It's a tight fit, but if they lie on their sides and stay close they can manage.

Thor lies with his eyes closed, holding Loki tight as sleep calls to him. With his bare chest pressed against Loki's, he feels as if he could melt into the gentle warmth of Loki's skin. Lured by the comforting rhythm of Loki's breath against his neck, Thor soon slips into a peaceful sleep.

* * *

><p><em>AN: Sorry for the delay on this chapter. I wanted to try to take the story a bit slower than in the first chapter and not just rush to the smut. :) Also, I had written most of the chapter when I realized that Loki was having a bit of an identity crisis (too much regular!Loki, not enough mortal!Loki), so I had to rewrite a bit, but I hope I struck a good balance with that._


	3. Chapter 3

Daylight is fading by the time Thor wakes up. He finds his arms empty and a folded piece of paper lying on his chest. His heart suddenly races in terror. Has Loki run away after what they did? Is this a goodbye note? He almost tears the paper in his clumsy rush to unfold the note and tries to focus long enough to read the delicate handwriting.

_The evening sun shines  
>on your sleeping face like gold<br>it seems like a dream  
>but I have never had such<br>a beautiful dream before_

Struggling through the dredges of sleep, Thor's brain works slowly to process the cryptic message. Did Loki... write him a poem? The idea almost seems laughable. But then again, he does think himself a writer. Thor gazes at the paper in wonder, letting the idea sink in.

Loki... the god of mischief... the one who had fought him with deadly intent on so many occasions... the one who had wanted Earth to cower before him... has written Thor a poem.

Normally, Thor would find such displays of affection quite boring and pointless. He had received them often enough on Asgard to be utterly sick of them. Yet, here he is, rereading the carefully written words and unable to keep a huge grin from spreading across his face. He would never have thought that such a thing would bring him so much joy.

If he still feels any guilt at all about choosing to return Loki's affections under the current conditions, it vanishes completely in that instant.

* * *

><p>Sitting in bed reading, Loki cringes as he hears Thor's laughter from the living room. He sighs, immediately regretting having written the poem.<p>

Thor bursts into the bedroom a few moments later, beaming and waving the folded paper, "Did you write this for me?"

Loki scowls as he rises from the bed, "I knew it was a mistake to write that stupid thing. Here, give it back to me."

Loki quickly reaches up to take the note, but Thor keeps it out of his grasp. He immediately tries again, this time jumping up to grab Thor's arm in an attempt to force him to lower it, and manages to take hold of the corner of the paper.

"No!" The raw panic in Thor's voice makes Loki freeze, releasing the paper.

There it is. That same desperation Loki heard in Thor's voice earlier when he had asked him to stay in his arms. It's the plea of someone who has lost something important and fears losing it again. Loki feels a twinge of unease as he backs away from Thor, still frowning.

Thor looks slightly embarrassed by his outburst and clears his throat as he presses the note to his chest protectively, "I want to keep it." He smiles softly as he leans over to place a gentle kiss on Loki's lips, "Thank you."

Loki is frustrated to find himself blushing hotly as Thor's hand reaches up to comb through the his hair as he kisses him again, this time lingering with a growing intensity. Loki feels Thor's intentions plain as day and carefully wiggles out of Thor's grasp.

"I want to do some research," Loki says quickly, picking up one of the notebooks that lay scattered on the bed, "Come to the library with me."

Loki's not entirely sure why he's doing what he's doing. He just knows that some part of him can't accept Thor's overwhelming affection right now. He needs to escape. So he grabs hold of Thor's arm and makes for the front door, dragging a somewhat bewildered Thor behind him.

* * *

><p>Thor wonders momentarily if it's safe for them to go to such a crowded place, but he figures they will be inconspicuous enough in their Midgardian clothes. In fact, in all the time he has lived on Earth he's only been recognized once or twice without his Asgardian armor. For some reason, the mortals always remember the cape and hammer and never his face.<p>

He's never been to the public library before. Luckily, Loki seems to have a clear idea of how to get around the city, and even seems to know exactly where to go once they get inside the building. Thor follows behind him quietly as Loki heads straight for a row of computers and takes a seat in front of one of the monitors.

Thor paces around awkwardly for a moment, not knowing what to do with himself before Loki points to the chair opposite him, hissing, "Stop hovering around like an idiot."

Thor plops down in the indicated chair, "How long will this take?"

"Consider it an opportunity for you to practice a much-needed quality called patience."

Thor frowns and shuffles restlessly in the chair. He watches Loki open the notebook he brought with him and flip through a few pages before putting it aside and focusing on the screen, intently clicking around with the mouse. After a few minutes, Thor's mind starts to drift to all the other things he'd rather be doing with Loki at this moment.

"Hey," Loki asks, looking up at Thor and interrupting his thoughts, "Do you remember the Battle of New York?"

"Of course, that was-" Thor suddenly catches himself, "Wait, why are you asking that?" He jumps up and rushes over to see what Loki is looking at on his screen. It's an old news article about Loki's failed invasion of Earth. Most of the truth behind the invasion was kept secret from the public, so the article is fairly general with a few eye witness accounts and a large photo of a wounded Chitauri soldier crouching in front of a pile of rubble.

Panic courses through Thor's veins as he stares at the screen. Why is Loki looking at this? What if he sees a picture of Thor? Or himself? Surely, even Loki's newfound indifference wouldn't survive a shock like that. He tries to keep his voice calm as he speaks, "You really shouldn't worry about this kind of stuff."

"It's so weird," Loki says slowly, pointing to the picture of the Chitauri soldier, "I know these things... I had a dream about them, but I didn't know they actually existed. I don't even remember this whole invasion at all." He looks up a Thor in concern, "How can I dream about something I've never seen before?"

Thor gulps as his mind races for an adequate response, but he's drawing a complete blank.

An announcement over the library's PA system breaks the awkward pause, "The library is now closing. Please bring any materials you wish to borrow to the check-out counter."

Thor sighs in relief as Loki's attention is immediately diverted, quickly closing the article on the screen and gathering his notebook. Loki seems to have completely forgotten about his question as he smiles up at Thor, "Wanna get some dinner?"

Thor eagerly follows Loki out of the library, making a mental note to keep Loki away from computers in the future.

* * *

><p>Thor can't help smiling as Loki descends into a fit of mad laughter and drops his head onto Thor's shoulder while they sit next to each other in the small restaurant booth. Thor doesn't think what he said was so funny, but well into his fourth glass of wine, Loki seems to have found it hilarious.<p>

Loki hadn't so much as touched alcohol since he started living here, despite Thor offering him beer on several occasions. Now Loki has, for some reason, decided to indulge in it. Thor has had several beers himself, but seems to be handling it a lot better than Loki who's now grinning as he picks at the remnants of his dinner with a fork.

Thor leans back admiring Loki warmly, treasuring the moment. It almost feels like home, eating and drinking and laughing with Loki again.

Loki notices Thor's gaze, and his smile fades a bit as he asks, "Why are you looking at me like that?"

Thor keeps his eyes on Loki, "You're so beautiful when you smile."

Loki stares at his plate. He taps his fork absentmindedly as he suddenly seems to grow pensive, "Why did you say you didn't want to kiss me?"

Thor is caught off-guard by the question. He shifts a bit in his seat before answering. "I guess... I just never thought of you like that."

A melancholy suddenly seems to descend on Loki. "I got the feeling it was because there was someone else."

Thor's eyes widen in surprise. Well, he's not really wrong. That was essentially what was going on. So, there _are_ some things Loki can still be perceptive about, after all. But how can Thor tell him that the person he's jealous of is himself?

Thor smiles reassuringly as he grabs hold of Loki's shoulder and squeezes gently, drawing Loki's eyes to him. "Do not worry. You are the only person on my mind right now."

It's certainly not a lie, but Loki still doesn't look completely convinced as his eyes search Thor's for a long moment. When Loki finally looks away, he sinks heavily into the booth and sighs.

Thor can't help leaning over to try to steal a kiss, but Loki pushes him away briskly. "Not in public, you idiot!"

Thor laughs, "Oh, who cares what the mortals think..."

Loki quirks an eyebrow at him, "Sometimes you talk like an alien or something. You know that, right?"

Thor merely smiles and turns to take a sip of his beer in response.

"Oh!" Loki exclaims, dropping his fork as he turns enthusiastically to face Thor, "Do you remember the cross-dressing incident?"

"Cross-dressing?" Thor asks, highly amused.

"Yeah," Loki smiles widely, suppressing a giggle, "You know... the time I convinced you to dress up in a wedding dress for some reason..."

Thor nearly chokes on his beer mid-sip. What in all the―? Had Loki seriously somehow left that memory intact?

"I forget why we did that exactly..." Loki muses as he toys with the stem of his wine glass, "I just remember that it was fucking hilarious."

Thor frowns and grabs the glass out of Loki's hand when he moves to take another sip. "I think you've had enough for today," Thor grumbles in annoyance.

"Aww, man," Loki sighs in disappointment as Thor picks up the bill holder.

Loki makes a wild grab to take it away, but Thor manages to fight him off, bumping into the table violently and nearly spilling their drinks in the process.

"Settle down, will you?" Thor pleads as he proceeds to pay, "Stop acting like a child."

"Stop acting like a big brother," Loki huffs and crosses his arms indignantly.

Thor is unprepared for the icy grip that suddenly clenches his heart and the bitter wave of sadness that follows.

"What?" Loki hisses in annoyance when he sees Thor pause.

"Nothing," Thor sighs, gathering his coat to leave the restaurant.

* * *

><p>It's not very late when they get back to the apartment, but Loki already seems drained of energy as he collapses on the sofa, hiding his eyes under his forearm.<p>

"Maybe you should go to bed?" Thor suggests as he looks down at Loki sprawled across the sofa.

"Dammit, I don't want to go to sleep," Loki says, yawning loudly.

Thor chuckles, "Why not?"

Loki frowns, still hiding his eyes under his arm. His voice is barely a whisper when he speaks, "That's when the monsters come for me."

Thor's brow furrows in concern. Did he really hear Loki correctly? He leans over and gently pries Loki's arm off of his face to get a look at his eyes. "Are you well? Is something wrong?"

Loki sighs and sits up to rub his forehead, "I'm just joking. Don't worry about it."

Thor sits down beside Loki, placing a comforting hand on his knee.

Before Thor has a chance to speak, Loki looks up, suddenly smiling, "I know. You should keep me awake."

"Keep you awake? How?"

Loki places his hand gently on top of Thor's and eyes him with tempting tilt of his head, "Oh, I can think of a few things you could do."

Thor's brain screams a warning even as his body reacts instantly to the wicked gleam in those emerald eyes. "Oh, no," Thor mutters, pulling his hand away, "I will not indulge you while you're in such a state." There was no way he was going to take advantage of a drunk _and_ memory-impaired Loki.

"What state?" Loki asks flatly, "You think me drunk?" He rolls his eyes as he mutters to himself, "That's never stopped you before."

Thor frowns. It's true, of course, but he wonders how Loki knows that exactly. Thor's expression grows severe as he clenches his fists. "Do you really think that I care so little for you? To equate you with such company as that? You are an entirely different matter and I refuse to let you allow yourself to be treated otherwise."

Loki is taken aback by Thor's sudden intensity. He leans away from Thor, confusion in his eyes as he attempts to work out exactly what is going on in Thor's head. It's a look that Thor is not familiar with. Normally, Loki seems to naturally know what Thor is thinking, whether Thor wants him to or not. Luckily, this Loki does not seem to have that power, and Thor relaxes as he realizes Loki will accept defeat.

"I promise I will make it up to you tomorrow," Thor says softly as he leans over and kisses Loki's forehead, "Goodnight, beautiful one."

Loki lets out a frustrated breath as he stares at Thor. "It is you who deserves that title, not me."

Thor silences any further complaints with a quick kiss to Loki's lips. "Goodnight," Thor states firmly.

Loki stands up and takes a few steps towards the bedroom before looking back at Thor over his shoulder, a smile spreading across his face, "Then you will owe me _a lot_ tomorrow."

_-TBC-_

* * *

><p><em>AN: My apologies to poetry enthusiasts for Loki's poem. I imagine Loki would be awesome at poetry (in the unlikely event he actually wanted to write some), but a mere mortal like me can really only get away with writing haiku and tanka, so that'll have to do._


End file.
